For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14
My husband and I spent a little time each day of my pregnancy preparing to welcome our baby boy. The fear all expectant mothers feel for the first three months was already a part of our past. But our hopes were shattered in an instant. In a twist so terribly common but not often discussed, our unborn child was lost to us at sixteen weeks.
My husband and I take comfort knowing that, though this child did not live to breathe or gaze upon us, he was a most intimate companion of our Creator. As I read Psalm 139, I imagine that our child was being knit together in my womb – what a beautiful image. Though we know not why this wasn’t our time to embrace the ups and downs of parenthood, it feels that perhaps God wasn’t ready to gift us this child. But my son was knit together by the loving hand of God all the same.
Prayer: God who knows our deepest hurts, keep us ever in your embrace through those pains that are beyond our understanding. Let each tear that falls be a reminder of our Baptismal promises and the hope of being reunited with the ones we love. Amen.
Deaconess Johnna Georgia, Waunakee, WI